4:14 AM

i awoke with a start at exactly 2:30 AM, according to my cell phone clock, and now it's 4:14 and i'm still wide awake. my ipod died about 45 minutes ago, and it's uncomfortably warm in my room, despite my two windows being open. ugh!


i watched "bottle shock" tonight (erika inspired me ;) ) and oh my god i miss those sonoma sunsets. if anyone back home who has never lived somewhere else is reading this, you have no idea how absolutely lucky we are to have the honor to witness something so breathtaking on a daily basis. granted i get ocean sunrises, but i'm never up at 530 when they occur, but a sunset over dirty industry? not nearly as exquisite. i also caught a glimpse of my old friend/ ex-mary's coworker david hinkley and literally rewound the movie three times to reassure myself it was him. SO COOL!

i want this:



how cute is her little shack/home?



:D love you all

this evening has been so very nice...

i love sonoma! for some reason, it has felt so good to be home, more so this trip than any other. i haven't seen as many of my friends as i thought i would have by now, but hanging out with my family is fine enough for me :)

claire is incredible and so fun to hang out with.. i've missed her a lot, so it's just been really fantastic getting to hang out with her some more.

erika is absolutely stunning, so smart.. i'd forgotten, sort of, how majestic she is. we went on a bike ride/run the other morning, and even though we didn't say much, i loved being with her. that must sound so lame, but i can't really explain it, and i don't think it needs defending!

put me down, life!

i feel lost right now, and i don't think i'm okay with it. maybe it's stress, or boredom, or anxiety, or depression... i really don't know, and it makes me feel very vulnerable. never in my life have i been unhappy with school, but right now, there is nothing i would rather abandon. this new job of mine hasn't turned out to be as promising or secure as i had hoped, and this financial uncertainty is taking a huge toll on my mental stability. this job has made me realize that i do NOT handle stressful situations very well. nothing feels right anymore, and it makes me wonder if i'm in the wrong place, if boston isn't where i'm supposed to be.

i miss laughing with my sisters. the comfort of my mom's hugs. going on crazy adventures with my dad. cozying up in my big fluffy bed. riding my bike to the basque. singing with cat. five weeks and i'm home! oooh, i never thought sonoma would sound so good...