"i couldn't help but wonder..."

As I sit here waiting for the bus to work, I feel like writing down some thoughts I've been having lately. (If this post turns out looking funny, visually, please pardon me.. I've never posted via Blackberry before!)

In the past week, since I've been back in Boston from my lovely visit home, I've gotten quite nervous about this whole New York thing. The only time I've moved anywhere was from Sonoma, I was young, adventurous, and curious. I wanted to get out, leave, and it didn't really matter where I went, just so long as I was no longer in the same place I had always known. These emotions that are drawing me to New York City are completely different; this time, I want to go, emphasis on "go." This decision, academically and professionally, is the most important of my life so far, and I know it's the right one. At first I was worried that I was leaving Boston too soon, that I was only leaving because other people wanted me to. But then it hit me: this time, it's not about leaving but going.

When this thought first occurred to me, I thought I was thinking myself in circles, but my dad gave me the exact advice that I had thought of. Earlier in the week, I had dinner with my Uncle Tod, and while talking with him about my apprehension, I mentioned the word "comfortable" in regards to my life in Boston. At this, he quickly interrupted me, baffled, saying, "Ash, you're twenty years old! You're too young to be comfortable! Wait fifteen years and THEN see if you're ready to say that." While constant moving and adventuring is somewhat terrifying, I really valued his advice. Who am I to settle down at the young age of twenty, when I have a whole world of opportunities, cities, and people waiting to be seen?

Boston has been incredible to me. This first leap, flight if you will, has taught me that I am capable of succeeding on my own, and that in itself is something I value more than anything. I've learned so much about myself, this city, the passion the people here have for everything in their lives, and I've met some incredible people (and some not so incredible people too..) but that's another story in itself. Too infuriating.

It is definitely bittersweet, but, like I wrote in the previous post, this is another chapter in my life. I'm meeting my dad at the airport on Wednesday morning, and then the two of us are off to New York for the week(end)! Its getting exciting.

P.s. Happy Father's Day, dad :) all of these opportunities I've been blessed with and all of my dreams have been made into realities because of your endless support. Thank you so much for never doubting me. You truly are the greatest dad, and I truly am the luckiest daughter. I love you very very much :)