I've finished most of my packing, and in the morning I will be heading for Kennedy Airport, and then home for the week! I have been giddy all week anticipating this trip. I am thrilled for big momma hugs, sister cuddling, tear-filled laughter with my dad, best friend chatting, riding my bike, Farmer's Market, enjoying the sun, and relaxing. I start classes the Tuesday after I get back to New York, with only one day to get all of my things situated, so some relaxation is definitely something I plan on experiencing to its fullest.
Now that I'm so close to seeing my family, and that I know I probably won't get to see my Grandma, I decided to browse her adorable website for some reminiscing (you can too! just use this link: http://conniebutlersculptures.com/ ) She is such an amazing artist. I have seen her work around our house, her house, in Christmas cards, cards she'll send randomly just to say hi, my entire life, and I am angry at myself for shrugging it off, as if it was "just something Grandma threw together once." As I look at her work now, removed from it from quite some time now, I cannot help but be in awe of her. What I find most impressive and admirable is her method of creating a piece of art. I quote from her website, "For me, the process of creation is the concentration of my attention on wood, stone, or clay. When I first began, I trembled with respect and honor for the material. Now, I wait until a conversation between my mind and the material begins. It is a dialogue." One of my favorites of her pieces (other than the man-fountain) is a relatively small wooden sculpture of a pregnant woman; I recall her explaining to me how she decided to carve such a woman, showing me the different knots and circles of the wood, so perfectly positioned for the big belly and the two breasts. Brilliant, right?! As a little girl, I remember being embarrassed to look at that sculpture, wondering why she would want to carve a "naked woman", but once she explained it to me when I was older, I saw that smooth pregnant woman as elegant, powerful and spiritual. Despite growing up with such an artist, I really do not know much about the process of wood sculptures and how they are created, but I think it is wonderful that my Grandma carves what the wood wants to be carved as, not what she believes her next project should be. She is simply lovely!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
SO EXCITED!
There's something about the anticipation of home and coziness and family and friends and big hugs that makes the heart flutter.
Furthermore, he never ceases to amaze me. LOVE this guy :)
Furthermore, he never ceases to amaze me. LOVE this guy :)
Thursday, August 20, 2009
woebegone.
I have read two books, watched seven movies, and walked countless blocks in the past two weeks, alone mind you, and now all I want is some company. I'm sick of this!
I realized last night that while independence is wonderful and quite necessary, it is much different than being lonely. Independence is within us, a trait if you will. Loneliness is a condition, usually temporary, and it is a burden on our esteem, mood, and being. Going out all day and knowing that the home I am about to return to is empty hits a very sad chord in my body. Perhaps if school had started already and I had company throughout the day, this wouldn't be so bad, but I really don't like it. It's heartwarming to be able to walk through the front door, anticipating a smiling face, having a intelligent conversation, sharing dinner with someone, and just enjoying someone else's company. Having another presence in the home is unbelievably comforting, something I would have never known had these past few weeks not occurred.
Perhaps this has been a learning experience for me, but I forevermore take back every conversation I had where I mentioned that I would love to live alone someday. I didn't know what I was talking about!
Love you and miss you all. Gimme a call if you read this.. I would love to talk :)
I realized last night that while independence is wonderful and quite necessary, it is much different than being lonely. Independence is within us, a trait if you will. Loneliness is a condition, usually temporary, and it is a burden on our esteem, mood, and being. Going out all day and knowing that the home I am about to return to is empty hits a very sad chord in my body. Perhaps if school had started already and I had company throughout the day, this wouldn't be so bad, but I really don't like it. It's heartwarming to be able to walk through the front door, anticipating a smiling face, having a intelligent conversation, sharing dinner with someone, and just enjoying someone else's company. Having another presence in the home is unbelievably comforting, something I would have never known had these past few weeks not occurred.
Perhaps this has been a learning experience for me, but I forevermore take back every conversation I had where I mentioned that I would love to live alone someday. I didn't know what I was talking about!
Love you and miss you all. Gimme a call if you read this.. I would love to talk :)
Saturday, August 15, 2009
why i love new york, parts two and three and four.
the second reason i love new york is because the subway runs 'round the clock. PLUS, i can take five different trains home - not just one! so when i got home around 1:30 AM after a fabulous dinner in little italy the other night, i didn't have to worry about not being able to get back to brooklyn, or cutting the night short because i had to make the last train. SO cool.
the third reason i love new york is because of all of the lights. this city is so alive.. i walked through times square the other evening well after midnight, and from my streetview, it could have been seven o'clock in the evening, it was so bright! not only that, but there were still bunches and bunches of people walking around, dodging and weaving through the crowd. "the city that never sleeps..."
the fourth reason i love new york is because of its majesty. from the countless number of songs written about this glorious city, to the dreams of young stage actors singing on broadway, to the hopes of the fashionistas wishing to have their clothing showcased at fashion week, to the tourists who cannot wait to catch a glimpse of the statue of liberty, walk on ellis island, catch a show or a game at madison square garden, mosey through central park, or to the young romantics hoping to fall in love... this city holds so much potential and possibility.
the third reason i love new york is because of all of the lights. this city is so alive.. i walked through times square the other evening well after midnight, and from my streetview, it could have been seven o'clock in the evening, it was so bright! not only that, but there were still bunches and bunches of people walking around, dodging and weaving through the crowd. "the city that never sleeps..."
the fourth reason i love new york is because of its majesty. from the countless number of songs written about this glorious city, to the dreams of young stage actors singing on broadway, to the hopes of the fashionistas wishing to have their clothing showcased at fashion week, to the tourists who cannot wait to catch a glimpse of the statue of liberty, walk on ellis island, catch a show or a game at madison square garden, mosey through central park, or to the young romantics hoping to fall in love... this city holds so much potential and possibility.
Friday, August 14, 2009
why i love new york, part one.
The first reason why I love new york is because of its layout. What are you talking about, ashley? you ask? It's simple! I love that new york is built on a grid system and that the streets are numbered. This trait seems obvious and unimportant, but believe me, numbers are phenomenal. Between Boston and San Francisco, both of which are incredible cities too, the street names give no sense of direction or position unless a person has previous knowledge of the city and its layout. Numbers, on the other hand, make it simple for everyone!
For instance, if you're in manhattan and you find yourself on the corner of 27th and 5th yet you're supposed to be at 14th and 6th, you know immediately that you're 13 blocks up and 1 block over from where you need to be; however, if you're in boston on the corner of newbury and mass ave, yet you're supposed to be on boylston and mass ave, how are you supposed to know which direction to head in order to be where you need to be? You may not know that the two streets are just a block away from each other, and the panic attack you experience while believing you are lost in boston is entirely unnecessary.
(I may not be very good at math, but I've always loved numbers, looked for patterns and relationships between them.. Nerd alert, I know, but I can't help it!) It's so easy to navigate and nearly impossible to get lost here. For someone who's brand new to such a big place, not once have I walked down the streets of manhattan and felt invisible or overwhelmed by the city's enormity. New York just makes sense!
For instance, if you're in manhattan and you find yourself on the corner of 27th and 5th yet you're supposed to be at 14th and 6th, you know immediately that you're 13 blocks up and 1 block over from where you need to be; however, if you're in boston on the corner of newbury and mass ave, yet you're supposed to be on boylston and mass ave, how are you supposed to know which direction to head in order to be where you need to be? You may not know that the two streets are just a block away from each other, and the panic attack you experience while believing you are lost in boston is entirely unnecessary.
(I may not be very good at math, but I've always loved numbers, looked for patterns and relationships between them.. Nerd alert, I know, but I can't help it!) It's so easy to navigate and nearly impossible to get lost here. For someone who's brand new to such a big place, not once have I walked down the streets of manhattan and felt invisible or overwhelmed by the city's enormity. New York just makes sense!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
you and me together could do anything...
I believe it's time for an update! it's been, what, two weeks? SO much has happened, I don't know if I'll be able to remember everything!
For starters, we're all settled into our new apartment! By we're, I mean Isamu (my new roommate) and I, but really it's just me here until the end of the month. It was quite the headache and panic attack to get this place, lemme tell you.. The realtor ended up being heinous, we thought for a moment that we were dealing with Middle Eastern religious affairs and scam artists, our rent was raised last minute.. It doesn't sound that bad, but I definitely sobbed in CitiBank trying to cancel payment on my $2,100 worth of checks. It was bad. But Isamu and his mom came, dealt with the demon realtor, and now here I am :) I'm actually quite proud of myself for how this apartment has come together. It's pretty small, so there isn't much space to furnish, but it has some definite potential. We haven't put together a living room yet, but that will come eventually. Slowly but surely!
Jennelle, AJ, and Dan planned on meeting up with this random stranger they met one night at Jillian's the Saturday after I moved in, and this stranger was in Baltimore, so they swung by here on their way. I was so glad someone was able to see it, despite it being unfurnished and messy. On August 2nd, I met Erika at Kennedy Airport, and she stayed with me for almost an entire week! I've been bugging her to come visit me for two years, and she finally came. She always said that she wanted to gogogo, non-stop fun and adventuring, and I'm glad to say that we did just that. Her first night here we stayed close to home and relaxed, because Monday we were out of the house for a good 14 hours! We got a one-day pass for the subway and adventured our way all over Manhattan. Wall Street, World Trade Center, Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island (just the view, not the tour), Carnegie Deli pastrami sandwiches, lunch in Central Park, shopping on Fifth Avenue, a run-in with two girls we went to high school with (SO cool!), Grand Central Station, and then dinner and a movie in Bryant Park! It was amazingly gorgeous weather too, thank god. (Erika never got a chance to feel the disgusting humidity or summer thunderstorms :( ) The journey home was especially funny.. Erika had to pee so badly that she wasn't even speaking to me. I made some sort of joke on the subway, and she looked at me and said, with a completely serious tone, "Ashley, seriously, I'm fucking pissed," to which I replied, "No pun intended..." and we almost lost it. Thankfully there was no wetting of the shorts, or peeing on my stairs, both of which were threatened. What a fun day :)
Tuesday morning, we left the house at 7 AM to catch the bus to Boston, where we connected to a train to Providence, and then caught another bus to Newport to visit Gordon and Joan. It was so nice! We didn't get to Newport until 4:30, so that was a long day of traveling, but it is always great to see them. After a beautiful walk by the shore, we spent the evening at their house, drinking wine, eating a wonderful dinner, and catching up on our lives. Erika hadn't seen them in... six years, was it? Wednesday, Erika, Gordon, and I spent the afternoon on the boat. The last time I sailed, I got seasick, so I spent the entire day on the bow while Erika and Gordon chatted. I know I hadn't seen them in a while either, but I thought it would be nice for just the two of them to be able to talk for a while. When we got home, Greg came over for a visit, and over the course of the evening, my skin changed to a deep red so quickly, you could see it change. SO BAD! Anyway, we had a really nice dinner, just chatting and laughing, which I think was good for Greg. Ahh, that family is so fun.
We had to leave Newport around 10 AM to make it back to Boston in time for BLINK-182! We got to Jennelle and Kate's apartment around 1:30, got picked up by AJ and Lucas around 4, and headed off! I can't truly describe what seeing Blink-182 was like, but in short, it was breathtaking. They we one of the first bands that not only became popular when I was conscious of music, but I absolutely loved them. I actually bought "Enema of the State" when I was about eleven years old, and my dad made me return it because of the "Parental Advisory" sticker on the front, and the plethora of swear words, but my love for them (especially bassist Mark Hoppus) never faltered. It was so fun! So fun. Friday was spent wandering around Boston, from The Common, to Chinatown for Dim-Sum, the Public Gardens, Newbury Street, Copley Square, Fenway Park, Jillian's for some bowling, Quincy Market for lunch and street performers, the North End for Mike's Pastries, the Seaport for MJ O'Connor's, and finally Central Square for another concert! We didn't actually get to see who we wanted to perform, but it was fun nevertheless. Then we went back to Jennelle and Kate's, drank some Stella Artois, and went to bed! Erika had to go to the airport in the morning, so we were up bright and early again. I hated saying goodbye.. It was so nice to have my sister, my best friend out here with me and be able to see where I've been living my life for the past two years. It's one thing explaining and describing everything, but to be able to see it herself meant a lot to me. I know she said she had a great time, and I don't doubt that she did, but I really hope she is able to understand why I don't mind living here. I'm just so excited for her, I can't even stand it!
the tear-jerking video erika made :)
I stayed in Boston for an extra couple of days after Erika left, since I really didn't have too much of a deadline in New York and I really didn't want to leave my friends, but I'm back now. I went Bed Bath and Beyond crazy yesterday, bought a few little things for the apartment, got some groceries... I don't know how I'll be in a couple of weeks, starved of close personal interaction and familiarity, but for now I'm doing okay :) Music is always playing, so I always have some company. I realized yesterday that my fan has become a sort of pet to me too. He keeps me cool, sits and stares at me, follows me around the apartment (because I take him with me...) How insane do I sound?! Well, it really takes a lot of work to furnish a home. I'm just taking it day by day, scanning Craigslist for some deals, venturing off into the city to people-watch and see if I can find any knick-knacks and things. It's been fun! I can't wait until Isamu comes back though, so I can have some company here. Watching this apartment transform from a skeleton to a cozy home is something I wish I could share with somebody, especially since it's not just mine, you know? He's going to be able to see how much it's changed since he was last here, but it's not the same as witnessing the entire process. Oh well, it is what it is :)
For starters, we're all settled into our new apartment! By we're, I mean Isamu (my new roommate) and I, but really it's just me here until the end of the month. It was quite the headache and panic attack to get this place, lemme tell you.. The realtor ended up being heinous, we thought for a moment that we were dealing with Middle Eastern religious affairs and scam artists, our rent was raised last minute.. It doesn't sound that bad, but I definitely sobbed in CitiBank trying to cancel payment on my $2,100 worth of checks. It was bad. But Isamu and his mom came, dealt with the demon realtor, and now here I am :) I'm actually quite proud of myself for how this apartment has come together. It's pretty small, so there isn't much space to furnish, but it has some definite potential. We haven't put together a living room yet, but that will come eventually. Slowly but surely!
Jennelle, AJ, and Dan planned on meeting up with this random stranger they met one night at Jillian's the Saturday after I moved in, and this stranger was in Baltimore, so they swung by here on their way. I was so glad someone was able to see it, despite it being unfurnished and messy. On August 2nd, I met Erika at Kennedy Airport, and she stayed with me for almost an entire week! I've been bugging her to come visit me for two years, and she finally came. She always said that she wanted to gogogo, non-stop fun and adventuring, and I'm glad to say that we did just that. Her first night here we stayed close to home and relaxed, because Monday we were out of the house for a good 14 hours! We got a one-day pass for the subway and adventured our way all over Manhattan. Wall Street, World Trade Center, Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island (just the view, not the tour), Carnegie Deli pastrami sandwiches, lunch in Central Park, shopping on Fifth Avenue, a run-in with two girls we went to high school with (SO cool!), Grand Central Station, and then dinner and a movie in Bryant Park! It was amazingly gorgeous weather too, thank god. (Erika never got a chance to feel the disgusting humidity or summer thunderstorms :( ) The journey home was especially funny.. Erika had to pee so badly that she wasn't even speaking to me. I made some sort of joke on the subway, and she looked at me and said, with a completely serious tone, "Ashley, seriously, I'm fucking pissed," to which I replied, "No pun intended..." and we almost lost it. Thankfully there was no wetting of the shorts, or peeing on my stairs, both of which were threatened. What a fun day :)
Tuesday morning, we left the house at 7 AM to catch the bus to Boston, where we connected to a train to Providence, and then caught another bus to Newport to visit Gordon and Joan. It was so nice! We didn't get to Newport until 4:30, so that was a long day of traveling, but it is always great to see them. After a beautiful walk by the shore, we spent the evening at their house, drinking wine, eating a wonderful dinner, and catching up on our lives. Erika hadn't seen them in... six years, was it? Wednesday, Erika, Gordon, and I spent the afternoon on the boat. The last time I sailed, I got seasick, so I spent the entire day on the bow while Erika and Gordon chatted. I know I hadn't seen them in a while either, but I thought it would be nice for just the two of them to be able to talk for a while. When we got home, Greg came over for a visit, and over the course of the evening, my skin changed to a deep red so quickly, you could see it change. SO BAD! Anyway, we had a really nice dinner, just chatting and laughing, which I think was good for Greg. Ahh, that family is so fun.
We had to leave Newport around 10 AM to make it back to Boston in time for BLINK-182! We got to Jennelle and Kate's apartment around 1:30, got picked up by AJ and Lucas around 4, and headed off! I can't truly describe what seeing Blink-182 was like, but in short, it was breathtaking. They we one of the first bands that not only became popular when I was conscious of music, but I absolutely loved them. I actually bought "Enema of the State" when I was about eleven years old, and my dad made me return it because of the "Parental Advisory" sticker on the front, and the plethora of swear words, but my love for them (especially bassist Mark Hoppus) never faltered. It was so fun! So fun. Friday was spent wandering around Boston, from The Common, to Chinatown for Dim-Sum, the Public Gardens, Newbury Street, Copley Square, Fenway Park, Jillian's for some bowling, Quincy Market for lunch and street performers, the North End for Mike's Pastries, the Seaport for MJ O'Connor's, and finally Central Square for another concert! We didn't actually get to see who we wanted to perform, but it was fun nevertheless. Then we went back to Jennelle and Kate's, drank some Stella Artois, and went to bed! Erika had to go to the airport in the morning, so we were up bright and early again. I hated saying goodbye.. It was so nice to have my sister, my best friend out here with me and be able to see where I've been living my life for the past two years. It's one thing explaining and describing everything, but to be able to see it herself meant a lot to me. I know she said she had a great time, and I don't doubt that she did, but I really hope she is able to understand why I don't mind living here. I'm just so excited for her, I can't even stand it!
the tear-jerking video erika made :)
I stayed in Boston for an extra couple of days after Erika left, since I really didn't have too much of a deadline in New York and I really didn't want to leave my friends, but I'm back now. I went Bed Bath and Beyond crazy yesterday, bought a few little things for the apartment, got some groceries... I don't know how I'll be in a couple of weeks, starved of close personal interaction and familiarity, but for now I'm doing okay :) Music is always playing, so I always have some company. I realized yesterday that my fan has become a sort of pet to me too. He keeps me cool, sits and stares at me, follows me around the apartment (because I take him with me...) How insane do I sound?! Well, it really takes a lot of work to furnish a home. I'm just taking it day by day, scanning Craigslist for some deals, venturing off into the city to people-watch and see if I can find any knick-knacks and things. It's been fun! I can't wait until Isamu comes back though, so I can have some company here. Watching this apartment transform from a skeleton to a cozy home is something I wish I could share with somebody, especially since it's not just mine, you know? He's going to be able to see how much it's changed since he was last here, but it's not the same as witnessing the entire process. Oh well, it is what it is :)
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