you and me together could do anything...

I believe it's time for an update! it's been, what, two weeks? SO much has happened, I don't know if I'll be able to remember everything!

For starters, we're all settled into our new apartment! By we're, I mean Isamu (my new roommate) and I, but really it's just me here until the end of the month. It was quite the headache and panic attack to get this place, lemme tell you.. The realtor ended up being heinous, we thought for a moment that we were dealing with Middle Eastern religious affairs and scam artists, our rent was raised last minute.. It doesn't sound that bad, but I definitely sobbed in CitiBank trying to cancel payment on my $2,100 worth of checks. It was bad. But Isamu and his mom came, dealt with the demon realtor, and now here I am :) I'm actually quite proud of myself for how this apartment has come together. It's pretty small, so there isn't much space to furnish, but it has some definite potential. We haven't put together a living room yet, but that will come eventually. Slowly but surely!

Jennelle, AJ, and Dan planned on meeting up with this random stranger they met one night at Jillian's the Saturday after I moved in, and this stranger was in Baltimore, so they swung by here on their way. I was so glad someone was able to see it, despite it being unfurnished and messy. On August 2nd, I met Erika at Kennedy Airport, and she stayed with me for almost an entire week! I've been bugging her to come visit me for two years, and she finally came. She always said that she wanted to gogogo, non-stop fun and adventuring, and I'm glad to say that we did just that. Her first night here we stayed close to home and relaxed, because Monday we were out of the house for a good 14 hours! We got a one-day pass for the subway and adventured our way all over Manhattan. Wall Street, World Trade Center, Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island (just the view, not the tour), Carnegie Deli pastrami sandwiches, lunch in Central Park, shopping on Fifth Avenue, a run-in with two girls we went to high school with (SO cool!), Grand Central Station, and then dinner and a movie in Bryant Park! It was amazingly gorgeous weather too, thank god. (Erika never got a chance to feel the disgusting humidity or summer thunderstorms :( ) The journey home was especially funny.. Erika had to pee so badly that she wasn't even speaking to me. I made some sort of joke on the subway, and she looked at me and said, with a completely serious tone, "Ashley, seriously, I'm fucking pissed," to which I replied, "No pun intended..." and we almost lost it. Thankfully there was no wetting of the shorts, or peeing on my stairs, both of which were threatened. What a fun day :)










Tuesday morning, we left the house at 7 AM to catch the bus to Boston, where we connected to a train to Providence, and then caught another bus to Newport to visit Gordon and Joan. It was so nice! We didn't get to Newport until 4:30, so that was a long day of traveling, but it is always great to see them. After a beautiful walk by the shore, we spent the evening at their house, drinking wine, eating a wonderful dinner, and catching up on our lives. Erika hadn't seen them in... six years, was it? Wednesday, Erika, Gordon, and I spent the afternoon on the boat. The last time I sailed, I got seasick, so I spent the entire day on the bow while Erika and Gordon chatted. I know I hadn't seen them in a while either, but I thought it would be nice for just the two of them to be able to talk for a while. When we got home, Greg came over for a visit, and over the course of the evening, my skin changed to a deep red so quickly, you could see it change. SO BAD! Anyway, we had a really nice dinner, just chatting and laughing, which I think was good for Greg. Ahh, that family is so fun.







We had to leave Newport around 10 AM to make it back to Boston in time for BLINK-182! We got to Jennelle and Kate's apartment around 1:30, got picked up by AJ and Lucas around 4, and headed off! I can't truly describe what seeing Blink-182 was like, but in short, it was breathtaking. They we one of the first bands that not only became popular when I was conscious of music, but I absolutely loved them. I actually bought "Enema of the State" when I was about eleven years old, and my dad made me return it because of the "Parental Advisory" sticker on the front, and the plethora of swear words, but my love for them (especially bassist Mark Hoppus) never faltered. It was so fun! So fun. Friday was spent wandering around Boston, from The Common, to Chinatown for Dim-Sum, the Public Gardens, Newbury Street, Copley Square, Fenway Park, Jillian's for some bowling, Quincy Market for lunch and street performers, the North End for Mike's Pastries, the Seaport for MJ O'Connor's, and finally Central Square for another concert! We didn't actually get to see who we wanted to perform, but it was fun nevertheless. Then we went back to Jennelle and Kate's, drank some Stella Artois, and went to bed! Erika had to go to the airport in the morning, so we were up bright and early again. I hated saying goodbye.. It was so nice to have my sister, my best friend out here with me and be able to see where I've been living my life for the past two years. It's one thing explaining and describing everything, but to be able to see it herself meant a lot to me. I know she said she had a great time, and I don't doubt that she did, but I really hope she is able to understand why I don't mind living here. I'm just so excited for her, I can't even stand it!







the tear-jerking video erika made :)



I stayed in Boston for an extra couple of days after Erika left, since I really didn't have too much of a deadline in New York and I really didn't want to leave my friends, but I'm back now. I went Bed Bath and Beyond crazy yesterday, bought a few little things for the apartment, got some groceries... I don't know how I'll be in a couple of weeks, starved of close personal interaction and familiarity, but for now I'm doing okay :) Music is always playing, so I always have some company. I realized yesterday that my fan has become a sort of pet to me too. He keeps me cool, sits and stares at me, follows me around the apartment (because I take him with me...) How insane do I sound?! Well, it really takes a lot of work to furnish a home. I'm just taking it day by day, scanning Craigslist for some deals, venturing off into the city to people-watch and see if I can find any knick-knacks and things. It's been fun! I can't wait until Isamu comes back though, so I can have some company here. Watching this apartment transform from a skeleton to a cozy home is something I wish I could share with somebody, especially since it's not just mine, you know? He's going to be able to see how much it's changed since he was last here, but it's not the same as witnessing the entire process. Oh well, it is what it is :)

a brief photo montage of the last two days in NY

"don't walk" sign from the east village


top of the empire state building


the guggenheim


upper west side, as seen from the jackie o reservoir


cute little turtle (one of three we saw swimming around the shoreline!)


the dakota...


imagine mosaic, the day after the death of MJ and farrah.. simple and powerful :(


MJ montage in times square


"i'll be there" in the 42 st subway


beautiful skies on the drive home through connecticut


back in boston, result of flip flop being consumed by the escalator.

"i couldn't help but wonder..."

As I sit here waiting for the bus to work, I feel like writing down some thoughts I've been having lately. (If this post turns out looking funny, visually, please pardon me.. I've never posted via Blackberry before!)

In the past week, since I've been back in Boston from my lovely visit home, I've gotten quite nervous about this whole New York thing. The only time I've moved anywhere was from Sonoma, I was young, adventurous, and curious. I wanted to get out, leave, and it didn't really matter where I went, just so long as I was no longer in the same place I had always known. These emotions that are drawing me to New York City are completely different; this time, I want to go, emphasis on "go." This decision, academically and professionally, is the most important of my life so far, and I know it's the right one. At first I was worried that I was leaving Boston too soon, that I was only leaving because other people wanted me to. But then it hit me: this time, it's not about leaving but going.

When this thought first occurred to me, I thought I was thinking myself in circles, but my dad gave me the exact advice that I had thought of. Earlier in the week, I had dinner with my Uncle Tod, and while talking with him about my apprehension, I mentioned the word "comfortable" in regards to my life in Boston. At this, he quickly interrupted me, baffled, saying, "Ash, you're twenty years old! You're too young to be comfortable! Wait fifteen years and THEN see if you're ready to say that." While constant moving and adventuring is somewhat terrifying, I really valued his advice. Who am I to settle down at the young age of twenty, when I have a whole world of opportunities, cities, and people waiting to be seen?

Boston has been incredible to me. This first leap, flight if you will, has taught me that I am capable of succeeding on my own, and that in itself is something I value more than anything. I've learned so much about myself, this city, the passion the people here have for everything in their lives, and I've met some incredible people (and some not so incredible people too..) but that's another story in itself. Too infuriating.

It is definitely bittersweet, but, like I wrote in the previous post, this is another chapter in my life. I'm meeting my dad at the airport on Wednesday morning, and then the two of us are off to New York for the week(end)! Its getting exciting.

P.s. Happy Father's Day, dad :) all of these opportunities I've been blessed with and all of my dreams have been made into realities because of your endless support. Thank you so much for never doubting me. You truly are the greatest dad, and I truly am the luckiest daughter. I love you very very much :)

to old memories and new beginnings.

it's been so long since i last posted, it's unbelievable! holy. my sincerest apologies, really. at first, my lack of writing was due to a lack of events, but after i went home this week, there was simply too much to write about!

making tacos with the family.. the result of erika cutting the onions for pico de gallo:






claire's knee surgery!



the city with wiggy and my grandma :)





the initial reason i went home this past weekend was to be with claire just before and after her gnarly knee surgery. i honestly cannot even begin to tell you how nice it was to spend so much time with her. the poor thing is bed-ridden, for the most part, and when she's helpless like that, she can be very sweet. a couple of days before i flew out, we had a thirty minute conversation, speaking only with british accents; because of this, while i was home, we frequently resorted to speaking that same way, and i'm sure jennelle now thinks we are insane. we are seriously the weirdest family! so funny though. the bandages on claire's knee were enormous; there were ACE bandages, followed by a white cushion of sorts, followed by a royal blue pad that circulated ice water around her knee cap, topped off by a brace that went from her upper thigh down to her ankle. The blue ice pad had a tube connected to it that attached to a cooler placed on the floor, and we ended up referring to the shorter part of this tube as her penis.. High on percocet, speaking in a soprano-pitched british accent, asking me to "please plug in her penis" was probably the most entertaining, hilarious thing i have ever heard and seen. as far as sister bonding went, though, i most definitely miss her already.

my only cousin wigg was in town too, with his girlfriend miranda, and it's impossible for me to explain how nice it is to have him back in my life. he was always around, so it's not the physical presence that i've missed, but the emotional and personal. he seems so excited about life, learning, family, love, everything, and i love seeing him with so much passion and drive for his life. i've missed him a lot. when we were really young, he was like the older brother i'd always wished for, yet adolesence, dr. dre, emmett smith, and ICP took him away from us. but now he's returned! woohoo!

i mentioned earlier that jennelle came to california with me, and it was so nice for me to have her get to meet all of my family, more than just in passing. the ciulla's have been truly like my second family here, so hospitable, so caring, making me feel like a complete part of their family. (jennelle just called, actually, and i swear i'm not writing this because i know you're going to read it! haha...) in all honesty, i hope that we showed her as much kindness as her family has shown me the last two years. i know we are so weird - claire giving herself a penis, our british accents, my dad trying to coax the cat into purring with him, erika blow-drying wax onto a canvas, my mom's incredible cooking (maybe not so weird...), and my grandma's goofy nicknames - and, given it was a small family reunion, all of our reminiscent stories must have been so boring, but it was a fun peek into our small, crazy family. i found this quote the other day, and it reminded me of jennelle:
"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones that you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -Mark Twain
that said, seriously, DO IT! you know what i'm talking about. :)

next week, my dad's flying out here, and we're hopping on a bus straight from the airport to manhattan for orientation! i saw cat and brady while i was home, and my talk with them made me realize how quickly time can pass, and how quickly it can sneak up on you. we started the play four years ago. FOUR. what? and now, in one month, i will be relocating to new york, simultaneously turning my life upside down. what? i found out i was moving to boston in february 2007 and i moved that august, so i had six whole months to prepare myself. this time, however, i have one measly month to prepare to leave somewhere i am actually quite fond of. i realized today that the comfort i feel here is the number one thing that should convince me to get out. i'm twenty years old! i shouldn't be comfortable! i should be out adventuring my horizons, seeing new places, meeting new people, expanding my knowledge. i think that boston has done incredible things for me, and i am so thankful/grateful for my experiences here. everyone i've met will not be forgotten, especially the dirty dozen. what a phenomenal place to gain my independence, huh? i must have been feeling a similar sense of fear before i made the trek across the country, but it's been so long, i've forgotten what it feels like. i don't know if i'm ready for this adventure quite yet, but i'm doing it, and it will be incredible. here's to a new chapter!

weird

for some reason, i LOVE this song. i really really like it.



tomorrow is my last final, and i'll officially be done with my second year of college! i'm working all weekend, and then next week i'm taking the bus to check out my potential new home. crazy, isn't it? i can't help but continually remind myself of how quickly life can change. one moment, i was shopping for a vacuum, and the next minute, i'm moving to new york city. i mean, what?! my entire life was turned upside down in a ten minute phone call. insanity, i tell you!

in the fine words of frank sinatra...

what? oh my god. no way. really? you're kidding. holy shit. jesus. jesus christ. there's no way. WTF? seriously? for real? oh, come on. wow. no sir-ah. nah ah. yay! wait, you're serious? shut up.

there's no place like home, part deux...

so, i'm sadly leaving california tonight. usually i am very anxious to get back to boston at this point in my trip, but this time, i am almost dreading going back. being home is so comforting, and after this homesickness-filled, stressful semester, there is no where else i'd rather be. BUT, i think mother nature might be eavesdropping my thoughts and concerns because boston is getting a storm tomorrow morning, and my flight is supposed to land right in the midst of it, so i may get to stay for a bit longer! i doubt it, but it's a possibility :)

this entire break has been filled with the twilight saga, collegeboard.com, photobooth, and lots of money spending (yikes about the last one.. i need to do some serious catching-up on my finances. well worth it though :)) here's some documentation:






i also think there is a possibility of moving to new york city earlier than i had planned! i've applied to a couple of schools there, so i'm keeping my fingers crossed that one of them works out. i was considering looking for schools in oregon, washington, and chicago, but i think staying on the east coast makes the most sense. i cannot quit.