Sunday, August 30, 2009

I've finished most of my packing, and in the morning I will be heading for Kennedy Airport, and then home for the week! I have been giddy all week anticipating this trip. I am thrilled for big momma hugs, sister cuddling, tear-filled laughter with my dad, best friend chatting, riding my bike, Farmer's Market, enjoying the sun, and relaxing. I start classes the Tuesday after I get back to New York, with only one day to get all of my things situated, so some relaxation is definitely something I plan on experiencing to its fullest.

Now that I'm so close to seeing my family, and that I know I probably won't get to see my Grandma, I decided to browse her adorable website for some reminiscing (you can too! just use this link: http://conniebutlersculptures.com/ ) She is such an amazing artist. I have seen her work around our house, her house, in Christmas cards, cards she'll send randomly just to say hi, my entire life, and I am angry at myself for shrugging it off, as if it was "just something Grandma threw together once." As I look at her work now, removed from it from quite some time now, I cannot help but be in awe of her. What I find most impressive and admirable is her method of creating a piece of art. I quote from her website, "For me, the process of creation is the concentration of my attention on wood, stone, or clay. When I first began, I trembled with respect and honor for the material. Now, I wait until a conversation between my mind and the material begins. It is a dialogue." One of my favorites of her pieces (other than the man-fountain) is a relatively small wooden sculpture of a pregnant woman; I recall her explaining to me how she decided to carve such a woman, showing me the different knots and circles of the wood, so perfectly positioned for the big belly and the two breasts. Brilliant, right?! As a little girl, I remember being embarrassed to look at that sculpture, wondering why she would want to carve a "naked woman", but once she explained it to me when I was older, I saw that smooth pregnant woman as elegant, powerful and spiritual. Despite growing up with such an artist, I really do not know much about the process of wood sculptures and how they are created, but I think it is wonderful that my Grandma carves what the wood wants to be carved as, not what she believes her next project should be. She is simply lovely!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

SO EXCITED!

There's something about the anticipation of home and coziness and family and friends and big hugs that makes the heart flutter.

Furthermore, he never ceases to amaze me. LOVE this guy :)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

woebegone.

I have read two books, watched seven movies, and walked countless blocks in the past two weeks, alone mind you, and now all I want is some company. I'm sick of this!

I realized last night that while independence is wonderful and quite necessary, it is much different than being lonely. Independence is within us, a trait if you will. Loneliness is a condition, usually temporary, and it is a burden on our esteem, mood, and being. Going out all day and knowing that the home I am about to return to is empty hits a very sad chord in my body. Perhaps if school had started already and I had company throughout the day, this wouldn't be so bad, but I really don't like it. It's heartwarming to be able to walk through the front door, anticipating a smiling face, having a intelligent conversation, sharing dinner with someone, and just enjoying someone else's company. Having another presence in the home is unbelievably comforting, something I would have never known had these past few weeks not occurred.

Perhaps this has been a learning experience for me, but I forevermore take back every conversation I had where I mentioned that I would love to live alone someday. I didn't know what I was talking about!

Love you and miss you all. Gimme a call if you read this.. I would love to talk :)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

why i love new york, parts two and three and four.

the second reason i love new york is because the subway runs 'round the clock. PLUS, i can take five different trains home - not just one! so when i got home around 1:30 AM after a fabulous dinner in little italy the other night, i didn't have to worry about not being able to get back to brooklyn, or cutting the night short because i had to make the last train. SO cool.

the third reason i love new york is because of all of the lights. this city is so alive.. i walked through times square the other evening well after midnight, and from my streetview, it could have been seven o'clock in the evening, it was so bright! not only that, but there were still bunches and bunches of people walking around, dodging and weaving through the crowd. "the city that never sleeps..."

the fourth reason i love new york is because of its majesty. from the countless number of songs written about this glorious city, to the dreams of young stage actors singing on broadway, to the hopes of the fashionistas wishing to have their clothing showcased at fashion week, to the tourists who cannot wait to catch a glimpse of the statue of liberty, walk on ellis island, catch a show or a game at madison square garden, mosey through central park, or to the young romantics hoping to fall in love... this city holds so much potential and possibility.

Friday, August 14, 2009

why i love new york, part one.

The first reason why I love new york is because of its layout. What are you talking about, ashley? you ask? It's simple! I love that new york is built on a grid system and that the streets are numbered. This trait seems obvious and unimportant, but believe me, numbers are phenomenal. Between Boston and San Francisco, both of which are incredible cities too, the street names give no sense of direction or position unless a person has previous knowledge of the city and its layout. Numbers, on the other hand, make it simple for everyone!

For instance, if you're in manhattan and you find yourself on the corner of 27th and 5th yet you're supposed to be at 14th and 6th, you know immediately that you're 13 blocks up and 1 block over from where you need to be; however, if you're in boston on the corner of newbury and mass ave, yet you're supposed to be on boylston and mass ave, how are you supposed to know which direction to head in order to be where you need to be? You may not know that the two streets are just a block away from each other, and the panic attack you experience while believing you are lost in boston is entirely unnecessary.

(I may not be very good at math, but I've always loved numbers, looked for patterns and relationships between them.. Nerd alert, I know, but I can't help it!) It's so easy to navigate and nearly impossible to get lost here. For someone who's brand new to such a big place, not once have I walked down the streets of manhattan and felt invisible or overwhelmed by the city's enormity. New York just makes sense!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

you and me together could do anything...

I believe it's time for an update! it's been, what, two weeks? SO much has happened, I don't know if I'll be able to remember everything!

For starters, we're all settled into our new apartment! By we're, I mean Isamu (my new roommate) and I, but really it's just me here until the end of the month. It was quite the headache and panic attack to get this place, lemme tell you.. The realtor ended up being heinous, we thought for a moment that we were dealing with Middle Eastern religious affairs and scam artists, our rent was raised last minute.. It doesn't sound that bad, but I definitely sobbed in CitiBank trying to cancel payment on my $2,100 worth of checks. It was bad. But Isamu and his mom came, dealt with the demon realtor, and now here I am :) I'm actually quite proud of myself for how this apartment has come together. It's pretty small, so there isn't much space to furnish, but it has some definite potential. We haven't put together a living room yet, but that will come eventually. Slowly but surely!

Jennelle, AJ, and Dan planned on meeting up with this random stranger they met one night at Jillian's the Saturday after I moved in, and this stranger was in Baltimore, so they swung by here on their way. I was so glad someone was able to see it, despite it being unfurnished and messy. On August 2nd, I met Erika at Kennedy Airport, and she stayed with me for almost an entire week! I've been bugging her to come visit me for two years, and she finally came. She always said that she wanted to gogogo, non-stop fun and adventuring, and I'm glad to say that we did just that. Her first night here we stayed close to home and relaxed, because Monday we were out of the house for a good 14 hours! We got a one-day pass for the subway and adventured our way all over Manhattan. Wall Street, World Trade Center, Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island (just the view, not the tour), Carnegie Deli pastrami sandwiches, lunch in Central Park, shopping on Fifth Avenue, a run-in with two girls we went to high school with (SO cool!), Grand Central Station, and then dinner and a movie in Bryant Park! It was amazingly gorgeous weather too, thank god. (Erika never got a chance to feel the disgusting humidity or summer thunderstorms :( ) The journey home was especially funny.. Erika had to pee so badly that she wasn't even speaking to me. I made some sort of joke on the subway, and she looked at me and said, with a completely serious tone, "Ashley, seriously, I'm fucking pissed," to which I replied, "No pun intended..." and we almost lost it. Thankfully there was no wetting of the shorts, or peeing on my stairs, both of which were threatened. What a fun day :)










Tuesday morning, we left the house at 7 AM to catch the bus to Boston, where we connected to a train to Providence, and then caught another bus to Newport to visit Gordon and Joan. It was so nice! We didn't get to Newport until 4:30, so that was a long day of traveling, but it is always great to see them. After a beautiful walk by the shore, we spent the evening at their house, drinking wine, eating a wonderful dinner, and catching up on our lives. Erika hadn't seen them in... six years, was it? Wednesday, Erika, Gordon, and I spent the afternoon on the boat. The last time I sailed, I got seasick, so I spent the entire day on the bow while Erika and Gordon chatted. I know I hadn't seen them in a while either, but I thought it would be nice for just the two of them to be able to talk for a while. When we got home, Greg came over for a visit, and over the course of the evening, my skin changed to a deep red so quickly, you could see it change. SO BAD! Anyway, we had a really nice dinner, just chatting and laughing, which I think was good for Greg. Ahh, that family is so fun.







We had to leave Newport around 10 AM to make it back to Boston in time for BLINK-182! We got to Jennelle and Kate's apartment around 1:30, got picked up by AJ and Lucas around 4, and headed off! I can't truly describe what seeing Blink-182 was like, but in short, it was breathtaking. They we one of the first bands that not only became popular when I was conscious of music, but I absolutely loved them. I actually bought "Enema of the State" when I was about eleven years old, and my dad made me return it because of the "Parental Advisory" sticker on the front, and the plethora of swear words, but my love for them (especially bassist Mark Hoppus) never faltered. It was so fun! So fun. Friday was spent wandering around Boston, from The Common, to Chinatown for Dim-Sum, the Public Gardens, Newbury Street, Copley Square, Fenway Park, Jillian's for some bowling, Quincy Market for lunch and street performers, the North End for Mike's Pastries, the Seaport for MJ O'Connor's, and finally Central Square for another concert! We didn't actually get to see who we wanted to perform, but it was fun nevertheless. Then we went back to Jennelle and Kate's, drank some Stella Artois, and went to bed! Erika had to go to the airport in the morning, so we were up bright and early again. I hated saying goodbye.. It was so nice to have my sister, my best friend out here with me and be able to see where I've been living my life for the past two years. It's one thing explaining and describing everything, but to be able to see it herself meant a lot to me. I know she said she had a great time, and I don't doubt that she did, but I really hope she is able to understand why I don't mind living here. I'm just so excited for her, I can't even stand it!







the tear-jerking video erika made :)



I stayed in Boston for an extra couple of days after Erika left, since I really didn't have too much of a deadline in New York and I really didn't want to leave my friends, but I'm back now. I went Bed Bath and Beyond crazy yesterday, bought a few little things for the apartment, got some groceries... I don't know how I'll be in a couple of weeks, starved of close personal interaction and familiarity, but for now I'm doing okay :) Music is always playing, so I always have some company. I realized yesterday that my fan has become a sort of pet to me too. He keeps me cool, sits and stares at me, follows me around the apartment (because I take him with me...) How insane do I sound?! Well, it really takes a lot of work to furnish a home. I'm just taking it day by day, scanning Craigslist for some deals, venturing off into the city to people-watch and see if I can find any knick-knacks and things. It's been fun! I can't wait until Isamu comes back though, so I can have some company here. Watching this apartment transform from a skeleton to a cozy home is something I wish I could share with somebody, especially since it's not just mine, you know? He's going to be able to see how much it's changed since he was last here, but it's not the same as witnessing the entire process. Oh well, it is what it is :)





Wednesday, July 29, 2009

memories in music.

"How Bizarre" by OMC
When this mid-90's tune hits my ears, all I see is my mom's little white Toyota (again, hahah) driving down Arnold Drive through the SDC. It's usually either Spring or Fall in my memory, the air is fresh and temperate, and those incredible trees are either full of gorgeous green leaves, or the array of multicolored leaves have half fallen on the road. I am about seven or eight years old in my mind, wondering what "bizarre" means, and curious as to which parts of this song are actually bizarre. (It's funny to me that Erika hears this song and thinks of driving around with our babysitter.. I never made that association!)

"Right Moves" by Josh Ritter
Given this man is the one current artist that I never have and never will get tired of, it was difficult to choose one of his songs that stands out the most for me. This particular song is so uplifting, so exhilarating, mixing rock instruments, string instruments, horns, a simple melody, and an immense amount of enthusiasm. The line that follows the instrumental sings "I heard the night birds picking up their song, you threw your hair back and you sang along..." and I cannot hear that line without feeling giddy! The instrumental has such a strong build up, and by the time Josh comes back in, there is so much momentum and energy, it's difficult not to get excited. At his concert with the Boston Pops, I could have sworn that he smiled at me during that line too :)

"Playground Love" by Air
High school, mary jane, driving down Arnold Drive near Leveroni Road, my infatuation with a certain co-worker... This song has such a relaxing tone, it's difficult not to close your eyes and just sway to the beat. I know this was on the "Virgin Suicides" soundtrack, but sometimes I can picture this playing along to a sped-up film of a road.. a time lapse of sorts.. driving down a two-lane, foggy road, lined with redwood trees...

"Falling Slowly" by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova
I saw their film "ONCE" just before I moved to Boston and absolutely fell in love with it and the soundtrack. When I first moved here, I was so full of excitement, newfound independence, and hope for love, and this song was especially prevalent in my life. The lyrics are simple yet relatable, and the harmony is one that can easily get the tears flowing. I picture myself sitting on the 77 up Mass Ave. in Arlington, staring at my cute bus driver, anticipating the chilly Northeastern air outside on my walk up to the house where I babysat, trying not to slip on the icy brick sidewalks.

"My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion
Anyone who was a preteen when this song came out knows why it made my memory list. I think I speak for every girl when I say that Jack Dawson was our first love, and I don't think any further explanation is necessary.

"Ladies and Gentlemen" by Saliva
Knowing me, this song is quite out of character, but allow me to explain. Jennelle moved into our apartment in September, and that fall, this song was part of some video game commercial that played every so often, and I loved it! I thought it was stupid to like a song that was part of a video game, so I never said anything. I was so intimidated by Jennelle's love of Metallica, System of a Down, and WBCN, her accent, and her humor, and I was convinced that I was too much of a goody-goody to be friends with someone so "hardcore" (I know this sounds like an exaggeration, but I'm serious!) Anyway, the video game commercial came on, and I quietly said, "I know this is lame, but I really like this song," and Jennelle was like, "Me too! I didn't want to say anything though!" "OMG me either!" I probably responded, and from then on, I was no longer intimidated by Jennelle. The cool girl and I had something in common, and I was set!

"Sensitive" by Jewel
This song radiates everything that is my incredible twin sister. As an innocent first grader, Erika heard this song and decided it was her favorite. Her distinctive round handwriting is in the front of our Dunbar yearbook, establishing this as her favorite song and Anabelle as her best friend. Listening to it now, I cannot help but cry. Erika has always been so wise beyond her years, so thoughtful and so intelligent, and I don't think she's ever gotten enough credit for it. For a six year old to hear this song and relate to it is phenomenal, and I can guarantee you she knew the deep meanings of what Jewel had written... "You always tell me that it's impossible to be respected and be a girl" ... I can just hear that little girl declaring that she was not going to let that happen in her life. She has always had such a sure sense of herself, her life, her morals and goals, and I admire her more than words can express.

"Time After Time" by Ella Fitzgerald
I don't know if Ella was the first to sing this, but her version is definitely one of my favorites. This song was number six on my list of songs to record for my senior project, and I only ended up recording five. Before I die, I am promising myself that I'm going to perform this on some occasion, be it in a studio, in a club somewhere (with my new roommate?! haha), who knows. I have a plan for this song too, but I don't want to write it anywhere and spoil the surprise, but hopefully within the next five or so years, my plan can be put into action! Such a beautiful love song.

"Marry You" by Eric Clapton and BB King
When this album came out, my uncle bought it for every single person he knew, trying to spread the glory that is the two of these great musicians collaborating. This was roughly around the time that my uncle and Phyllis had fallen in love, and I know that he probably thinks of her when he hears this song. It's a great song as it is, but knowing that it was the anthem of two incredible people falling in love with one another makes it all the more beautiful to me.

"Into the Mystic" by Van Morrison
One of the greatest songs of all time, hands down. I don't know if Hunter and I ever declared this as our song, but I will always think of him when I hear it. The soft guitar in the beginning, the simple verses, and the climactic chorus makes the heart beat much stronger.

"Pride and Joy" by Stevie Ray Vaughan
All I see is Highway 37, just past Sears Point, windows down, summertime, SRV blasting over the speakers, my dad playing seatbelt guitar like it's his job. He's so good! If I was driving, he'd have to listen to some Jimi (since Jimi was a lefty), but otherwise it was all about Stevie Ray Vaughan. Oh my god, I'm cracking up.. My dad is so cool! I can just see him biting his lower lip, squinting his eyes, and rocking out on his seatbelt with such devotion and power, you'd think he was a rockstar in his past life. Maybe he's where I get my musical talent! We'd take these random trips down to Marin, either to go hiking, see my grandparents, discover some new independent bike store, or just to go on an adventure for no reason.

"Feel it Now" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
"I'm on my own I'm sure I'll know it now, I'm on my own I'm sure I'll feel it now..." was the line I listened to over and over again in my homesickness. The song is comprised of a simple piano melody and a hauntingly beautiful harmony. A guitar comes in halfway through the song, but other than that, it is simple and enchanting.

"Somewhere Over The Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
Where do I even begin my admiration for this rendition?! Not only is his voice one of the most soothing voices that has ever graced my ears, he combined two of the most amazing songs into such a emotion medley. It does bother me that the lyrics of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" are not exactly what Judy Garland had originally sung, but I digress. "What a Wonderful World" was my Granny's favorite song, and while I will always cry at Louis' version, the second Israel starts singing, I cannot help but get a little weepy.

"The Way" by Fastball
I hope my mom remembers this moment, because it was what made me terrified of singing in public throughout my childhood. Let me tell a quick story before I explain the memory: When I was a little girl, I went through a phase where I wasn't that big of a fan of school, so I would pretend to be sick just to be able to stay home all day and watch music videos on VH1. All of the cool music played on MTV, but I preferred VH1 for some reason. Anyway, during this time, I was introduced to this band, Fastball. "The Way" was their new song, the music video was adventurous and cool, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to hear it whenever I wanted. Anyway, we were at Tower Records one day, and I went straight for the personal listening station, put on the headphones, and turned on this song as loud as I could. I was ecstatic, singing, dancing in place.. I looked over at my mom to share my thrill with someone, only to be greeted with the stares of every person in the store. My mom came running over, mortified, to let me know that I had been singing loudly off-key, and everyone in the store had heard me. SO embarrassing, right?! Ugh, I was humiliated. Thank god I was a kid so I could get away with it, but to this day, I will never forget standing in Tower, wearing my cream colored dress with purple flowers and my Tevas, rocking out to this song.

"Mardi Gras Fever" by Gatorbeat
You cannot grow up in Sonoma without being a fan of Gatorbeat. Every one of their songs has the ability to make even the shyest person get up and dance (me, for instance), but this song is what I think of when I think of them. We would travel around Northern California going to crawdad festivals, oceanside shows, hanging out with Richie's kids, dancing with beads around our necks, friendship necklaces, and being carefree hippy kids. The Domingue family is so loving and so incredibly optimistic, and I feel so honored to be able to know them personally. Gatorbeat's music epitomizes my childhood, and I LOVE IT!

"Nessun Dorma" by Luciano Pavarotti
There is no other way to play this song other than loudly and surrounded by the sound from all angles. It is such a passionate, climactic song, guaranteed to get the tears flowing if the timing is right and the emotions are vulnerable. Manowar did a rendition of this song (my knowledge of this is what got the head chef at my restaurant to think I was cool!) I personally do not think that anyone can top Pavarotti. He made this song as epic and definitive as could have been possible. Amazing!

"The Sea" by Morcheeba
I love my mom so much. My whole life, she has stressed the importance of the ocean in our life, taught us to trust how sacred it is, how to care about it as a way of healing, therapy, and stress reducer. We would hop in The Van, boogie boards in the back, surf board tied to the top of the car (stopping every fifteen minutes to try to get rid of the whistling the straps had created.. SO FUNNY!) We would make our way to Doran, Salmon Creek, or Bolinas, our little picnic basket filled with chips, salsa, homemade chicken salad, and a various piece of fruit. There is one stretch of road that winds its way through the hills right before the beaches appear, and that's what I think of when I hear this song.. I can picture our van cruising down the mountains, S-curving every which way, until finally the ocean became visible over the horizon.

"Fix Up, Look Sharp" by Dizzee Rascal
While we were working on Pippin, there was an orgy scene that we had to rewrite in order to make the show PG, and Cat had the brilliant idea of having a dance off instead. In order to inspire us and show us what she had in mind, we spent one rehearsal watching "RiZe", a documentary about the dance style "krumping" and its history in LA. This song was one of the main songs they danced to, so as a warm up, we would play this, stand in a circle, and just dance. We had to close our eyes and just let the music and the beat take ahold of our bodies and just let go. Every person had to go in the middle of the circle and dance by themselves, and I credit my ability to dance in public to this process. I still have very little rhythm, but this song always makes me want to dance.

"Take Five" by The Dave Brubeck Quartet
What an incredible piece of music, huh? Sometimes it reminds me of the old Chips Ahoy commercials, other times it reminds me of "Pleasantville", but mostly I think of Bethany and I going on adventures. We made a CD of all of the fantastic driving songs we could think of, and this was number one. The strongest memory I have with this song is that unbelievably long tunnel in Sausalito, heading out towards that old fort and Rodeo Beach.. do you know the one? It goes through the mountain?

"She's Only Happy In The Sun" by Ben Harper
I listened to this song over and over again while Erika, Grandma, and I were in Bermuda. At that point, Erika had an iPod and I didn't, so when she wasn't looking or around, I would steal it and just play this song. I was beginning to enter a pretty difficult time in my life, personally, and Ben Harper's voice was more than soothing. Being in Bermuda, I thought this to be especially appropriate, and once I was back in Sonoma, in the middle of my difficult time, I would listen to this and remember how amazing it felt to be laying in the warm sunshine, stretched out on that floating dock in the middle of that warm water, watching the planes take off and land... It still makes me a little sad to listen to it, knowing it was the anthem of my upset, lonely fifteen-year-old self.

"Layla (unplugged)" by Eric Clapton
Before I could even read very well, I distinctly remember being in love with "number seven on the CD with the man wearing glasses playing the guitar on the cover." I remember sitting in the Baldry's cottage, finding this CD, and telling Rashell that she needed to hear number 7, and she would love it. Once I found out the name of the song, I told myself that I would name my daughter Layla as a tribute to my first favorite song. It's such beautiful rendition. I love when fast, loud songs are remade to be serene and beautiful, and Eric Clapton did a phenomenal job of doing so.

"Rocky Raccoon" by The Beatles
I cannot help but think of my dad when I hear this song. I don't know when exactly he had first informed us of the classic line: "Her name was McGill, and she called herself Lil, but everyone knew her as Nancy" but he always comes to my mind when it plays. There was one trip we went on to Yosemite, and I can't remember if we had played this song, but we talked about it the entire time. We were at a gift shop where they were selling little raccoon stuffed animals holding acorns, and all three of us insisted on having one. I think Claire claimed the name "Rocky" first, but we all ended up naming our raccoons Rocky. We hopped back into Granny and Grandpa's van, drove back to Sonoma, where we met them at Ranch House, and showed them our newest friends. I loved going on adventures with my Dad.

"Red House" by Jimi Hendrix
The first time I met Hunter was when some of the ETC kids had gone to Mary's Pizza Shack for dinner, and I was elected to drive someone. After dinner, the red-headed kid got to ride with me in my dad's truck, and when I turned on the car, this song came blaring over the speakers. We had all been chatting and laughing over dinner, so we were only acquaintances. As we pulled onto Highway 12 and Hunter rolled down his window and screamed "I LOVE THIS GIRL! I LOVE THIS GIRL!" to the pedestrians, you can bet I was more than mortified. Who was this kid? I love that memory.

"She's A Rainbow" by The Rolling Stones
Erika got to fly alone before me, and I was so jealous that she even had her own traveling music routine down. She told me that it was necessary that every time she landed and walked towards baggage claim, she would play this song on her iPod as she walked. She said it was nice to play something uplifting and familiar as her homecoming theme, and to this day, I do the same thing, in her honor I suppose. I travel by myself more often than she does now, but I always have this song playing as soon as I step off the plane.

"Idaho" by Josh Ritter
I know I already have a Josh Ritter song in this compilation, but being my favorite, he needs two songs. "Idaho" is the epitome of a peaceful, soulful tribute to one's home. Josh Ritter grew up in the small town of Moscow, immersed in the land, surrounded by peace and quiet. Listening to this song conveys his life in Idaho so precisely, I assume. He's an incredible song writer and musician who doesn't have to try hard to captivate his audience. I dragged Jennelle and Heather to his concert with the Pops, and although they were not huge fans, Jennelle asked me afterwards to play "the song about him singing with wolves or something," and for a while, she would only have to say, "Hey, could you play the song?" and I'd know what she was referring to. He's addicting!

"Winter Song" by Ingrid Michaelson and Sara Bareilles
This song sounds like it's about love, but I interpret it as one about friendship. These two young women are astounding musicians, and they came together to write this adorable, serene song. It makes me think about my best friendships (Jennelle, Sierra, and Bethany), missing my sisters around the holidays, my family... I just think it's the sweetest tune, and it encompasses this past winter so strongly. This was another song that Jennelle would ask, "Could you play the song?" or "You thinking what I'm thinking?" and I'd just know that this song needed to be played.

"In My Place" by Coldplay
I fell in love the summer of 2005 when my dad, Erika, and I went to France to watch the Tour. We stayed in the French Alps, Alp d'Huez to be precise, with an Arizona-based cycling group. One of the leaders of the group was a French Canadian former rower named Pierrick, and it was love at first sight. Of course he was much too old for my brace-face, sixteen-year-old self, and he was newly happily married, but he was everything I knew I wanted in a man. I guess it was reassuring for me to see that amazing, kind, funny men DO exist, and he set the bar pretty high for my idea of a perfect companion. I was so smitten, it was painful! One afternoon while the guys were out riding, Erika and I rode around in the van with him, handing out water bottles and energy bars to struggling riders we saw along the way. Erika went off somewhere to take pictures, and Pierrick asked me if I liked Coldplay. I didn't really listen to them much at the time, but I was very enthusiastic with my "Yes!" in hopes of him falling in love with me too. In response to my answer, he began singing "In My Place", and I was done for. My heart was racing so quickly, I could hardly breathe! Naturally, this became my all-time favorite song after that, and when we left the Alps and headed towards Paris, I would listen to this constantly and sob. My heart ached so badly for love that summer, and what better place could I have found to test the potential of my young, untarnished love?

"Walking on Broken Glass" by Annie Lennox
Annie Lennox's voice is one of the best I've ever heard. As a kid, I wanted to be her so badly. I would listen to "Would I Lie To You?" and pretend like I was walking out on stage, "Keep Young and Beautiful" to practice my British accent, "Why" if I needed to get some tears out, and "Walking on Broken Glass" to work on my vocals. It sounds normal, but imagine a seven year old girl standing in the living room belting out Annie Lennox tunes. So cute! Anyway, despite my own history with this song, it will forever remind me of my amazing little sister. New Years Eve 1999/2000 (the Millennium), my parents had a big party with all of their friends. They had the idea of creating a mix tape of all of everyone's favorite songs from the last century, and each person had to choose a song and explain why they chose that particular song. My sisters and I were able to chose one song each, and Claire chose this one. She was eight years old at the time, although I remember her being much younger. Her reasoning was something along the lines of, "I chose this song because I really like walking on broken glass..." It was obvious that she was trying to be meaningful and insightful like the adults, but the way she worded it made her sound like she liked inflicting pain on herself. I think it was Joanie who pointed out the hilarity of what she had written, and Claire was so embarrassed! No one has ever let her live it down. It's just so precious, I can't even stand it.

Monday, July 27, 2009

...

Just a quick update! I know Grandma is aching to know I'm alive :) As we speak, I am on my fourth bus ride to new york to figure out an apartment situation. Lemme tell ya something: I am so sick of making this trip, I can't even begin to explain! This particular trip sucks the worst, considering I woke up at 445 to get here, the bus is full, the AC isn't working, and the man behind me not only hasn't showered in five months (evident by his stench and massive amount of upper arm hair.. Ha ha) his snore sounds like he's gurgling water! Its awful. This should be the last time I'm doing this until I move, which is actually on Friday! Whoa.

I found an old journal attempt of mine that I started right after high school. The first entry I read on July 24, and I had written, Today is July 24, which means I'm going to be in Boston in about three weeks... It was funny and strange to read about my hopes, dreams, and wishes of Boston from before I had even begun living here. I repeatedly wrote that I hoped to fall in love, gain confidence, and "live life with no restraints." It made me wonder if I had accomplished them, or achieved any of the goals I had set for myself. Granted I wasn't here as long as I had previously planned. I didn't find my soul mate, but I sure as hell gained confidence and lived life a bit more adventurously than I did in high school. I skinny dipped in the Atlantic Ocean at midnight, got my nose pierced, experienced St Patrick's Day in Southie, saw two Boston championship parades, went to a Red Sox playoff game (thanks dad!), gained a fantastic best friend and subsequent second family, traveled, made some mistakes (but no regrets!), saw betrayal and heartbreak and laughter and joy, loved my job, met up with some old friends, experienced a horrendous winter, and learned about a life that I had not known before. I think my 18 year old naïve self would be satisfied with what I've done.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

childhood

As I sit on the bus home from apartment hunting in Brooklyn all day, a particular song came on my iPod that brought back a lovely memory...

It was a beautiful summer day (or was it spring?) Erika and I had been anticipating that moment for a while. [I cannot recall if it was gabrielle or emily who first introduced us to the reason for our excitement] As we walked out of the cool store and the hot California air hit our faces, we could not wait to get back into my mom's white Toyota. [I still remember that car, the way it had acquired the smell of sour milk, throw-up, and crayons throughout our childhood] The heat only strengthened the gag-inducing smell that day, but we did not care. Unwrapping the plastic was inevitably tedious. "Hurry up!" one of us probably yelled at the other. As my mom backed out of her parking spot at Maxwell Village and pressed the tape into the slot, we waited, anxious and excited for what we knew was coming. It didn't begin until we were hanging a left at the light onto Highway 12 [back in the days when the Breakaway Cafe was "Lyons".. remember?]. I can see Erika and myself in the backseat, our wonderful mother driving, most likely rolling her eyes at her giddy 9 year old twin girls, as that infamous laugh came blaring through the speakers. "Wannabe" became our anthem that summer [or spring], and to this day, I cannot hear that song without having the smile of that 9 year old girl, who had just received her first tape, stretch across my face.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

cruisin'

My life is consumed by working, a lack of sleep, and occasionally going out with friends after work. I love it! I'm having more fun this summer than I've had in a very long time. Very convenient that I'm leaving so soon.. Wahh!

The fourth of july was very fun. I had to work in the afternoon, but later in the day, jennelle and I met up with one of her high school friends to watch the fireworks. She had gotten there much earlier in the day and put down a blanket RIGHT on the charles river. It was beautiful! Naturally, Boston doesn't kid around with the celebration of America's birth, so there was music, lots of food, lots of alcohol, lots of people, lots of laughter, and the most incredible fireworks display I've ever seen. The Boston Pops played, followed by a jet fly-over, four songs by Neil Diamond, and the final fireworks show. It was completely choreographed to music that was played through speakers set up all down the Charles.. I know they're just fireworks, but it took my breath away. Celebrating America's birthday in America's birthplace? Yes, please.

The next day, we went up to Wilmington to Jennelle's house for a big cookout with her family, and then went into her little town to see their fireworks show. Not in the least bit comparable to the night before, but it was really nice to be in the small town scene again, where the whole town comes out to celebrate. Made me a little homesick.... Anyway, that whole day/night was so much fun, just swimming, drinking mojitos, eating, and relaxing.
On thursday night at work, my manager hired a musician to play after dinner, and I was bouncing around all night in anticipation. He ended up having an incredible voice, so I kept telling everyone that I wanted to sing a duet with him, even though I wasn't completely serious. I did ask my manager at one point to see if it was okay if I did, but his lack of enthusiasm was enough to convince me that it wasn't a good idea. About twenty minutes after I had asked him, he comes barging into the kitchen, angrily demanding I come out to the dining room with him. He seemed so angry that I assumed I had done something wrong, someone had complained, or something to that extent; I was wrong! He grabbed my hand, walked me straight up to the singer, and said, "Yeah, excuse me? She's going to sing with you next." The guy looked a bit taken aback but asked if I knew "cruisin'" (the version by huey lewis and gwyneth paltrow that is...) "I know that one!" I stated, and he replied, a bit surprised, "well, okay then. Um, let's go!" It went perfectly! The harmonies were beautiful, neither of us forgot the lyrics, and it was so unbelievably exhilerating, I cannot even begin to explain! From my perspective, the audience was fairly big, since people crowded around, but I'm not sure how many were actually there. Either way, I'm so glad Todd made me go up there. I left that night without saying goodbye to anyone (a complete accident, I swear!) and I guess the guy wanted me to sing the last song, and I was nowhere to be found! Oops. Thanks for letting me sing with you, rocker man. It made my day/week/month.

Now, Jennelle and I are sitting on a bus to New York to go apartment hunting! I'm going to panic if I come up empty-handed. Less than three weeks until I have to leave, and as of right now, I'm homeless! Yikes. Wish me luck!!