11.5

jump

in my favorite dreams, i go back to that place - our place - with sun and wind caressing a golden blanket that extends as far as our eyes, mine blue, yours brown, can see.

tall, strong cliffs surround our place, noble and eternal. they watched us meet, smile, play, and connect, and they laughed at how young we were. sometimes we climbed those cliffs, not in rebellion but in good fun, and at the top, you stood tall, staring out at the Pacific with awe and so much determination. i looked down at that golden blanket, wondering, pondering, debating, over and over, many times again,

if i were to jump, would you, could you, catch me in time?

i wondered this for a very long while, and by the time i looked back towards you, you had gone away. i don't know what that big, blue ocean was telling you, but you listened. what would those cliffs say to me now? do it. now. just go.

i look down, take a deep breath, and i . . .


the wind strokes my skin with soft fingertips
breath escapes me and doesn't return
fear consumes me, but i embrace it
your light illuminates my horizon
those brown eyes, warm and encouraging,
calling me, comforting me


----

shoulders touch, hands graze, eyes meet
silence.
tall, short, black, white, big, little
unseen.
uptown, downtown, BK, BX, home free, homeless
alone.
happy, sad, laugh, cry, smile, frown
blank.
fall, fall, down, down, down...
gone.